My boyfriend is addicted to online dating

I met all sorts of people, from all over the world, older and younger, and each seemingly as desperate for a true connection as I. Should I be blaming my mother, or my – mostly absent – father for feeling that something was eternally missing? I was born to a woman that didn't much want children, and who fell foul to postnatal depression a good couple of decades before the term was even coined.

And for a while at least, it all felt harmless and innocent, and fun. My father leaving didn't help, and for the first six months of my life I was placed with a notional "auntie", a family friend who became my surrogate mother throughout my childhood.

And it is safe to assume that you both made this choice because you wanted to share part of your life with this person.

To do so however, requires that you actually spend meaningful time together (not just “time”). The definition will obviously vary from person to person, but would you agree that this time has to (at the very least) be both voluntary and chosen over other options?

In the following interview, Mellody discusses the ideology of the addiction, how to recognize it, the stages of addiction from attraction and fantasy to denial and obsession, and the recovery process for love addicts based on 12-step work and counseling. It’s a very real issue, yet many haven’t even heard of it — or understand it.Now, we delve into this complicated topic with expert Pia Mellody.There were redundancy problems at work; my marriage was showing strains; and there was something large and unnameable missing from my life.I ignored it until I could do so no longer, until eventually, for what felt like the sake of my sanity, I resolved to do something about it.

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